When you first start to have kids, you start to realize that people don't really care about you anymore. More often than not, people don't want to hear what's happening to you--they only want to know about your life in relation to the baby. People want to hold that little baby and talk about what milestones he is reaching, and you are only mentioned in passing during the conversation if that person thinks the baby looks like you instead of the father. I am not being critical. I don't really mind it when it's happening. I happen to think that it is nice that people you don't know enough to normally carry on a conversation with suddenly become friendly and interested. Babies are definitely good ways to bring people together. But, now that my babies are past that newborn/people magnet stage, I'm starting to refind myself a little. A few months ago, while I was still in that all-consuming task of learning to mother a newborn and a toddler simultaneously, my sweet brother asked me, "how are YOU doing, Kate? I don't want to hear about what and how you are doing as mother, how are you doing as person?" I still remember the kind of awkwardness I felt trying to fumble through an answer. Because at that moment, I didn't feel like a person, I just felt like a mother. My point is this: even if I didn't have an answer, it was really nice to be asked.
That's kind of why I love my first family, my family of origin. They knew me wayyyy before I was a mother, and so they see me differently. It feels refreshing. They came to visit last weekend, and we had a great time. It was nice to be around people who know a different side of me (that old naggy, bossy Big Sister isn't necessarily the best side of me, but oh well!).
Thanks Christian, Lauren, Andrew, and Kenton and anyone else who knows me as Kate, in addition to Noah and Jake's Mom.
But maybe I am talking to myself, after all, this post has no pictures of Noah or Jake. I'm just joking around. Please don't stop asking about my children. But if you do, don't worry, I'm sure I will run out of things to say pretty quickly, and then I will give you a full report on my boys, whether you like it or not, because after all, I'm not just a person, I am a mom.
10 comments:
That picture of Kenton is hilarious to me, because he's so model-esque, and to me he's really only 9. So funny.
And pertaining to just Kate, not Noah and Jake's mom, sure love ya, sure love ya, sure love ya!
You're the greatest!
Hey, DAUGHTER (that's what you always are to me) thanks for just being sweet Kate, always. Please imagine this sung in a fake Irish accent - "For she's my dear, my darling one, my smilin' and beguilin' one - no other, no other can match the likes of her!" Love YOU!
Awww, I loved this. So well written. That is seriously so sweet that you're brother asked you that. It seems so insightful for a single guy. (I'm dying to know which brother it was). You're writing is so funny, and smart. But I must say that the title was a little misleading. I was really excited because I thought I was going to actually hear things like what you're watching on TV, weird things that have happened to you, projects you're undertaking or things that would be appropriate in response to your brother's question. But maybe you haven't come up with an answer yet. I'm glad your two little boys are getting a bit older. I'm sure you've had a very tiring 2.5 years!!!!
I'm glad to hear that someone else experiences this. It's only happened to me a few times, but I really haven't known what to say either. I would wonder if people really wanted to know - "I'm sleep-deprived, my house is a mess, etc., but I'm surviving, and I'll come out of this with most of my hair?" I feel like I'm just coming back to myself too, old hobbies, routines that I enjoy. So yes, there is something special about close family and good friends who know you inside and out!
I love reading your posts Kate. And while I don't know exactly what that's like (as I don't have kids), I get what you mean. And I am glad that you are "finding yourself" again :) Miss you!
I love that picture so much! Cousin Kate, I sure love you :0)
Kate huh? I'm glad I finally know your real name, all this time i just thought it was Mom. HAHA, loved the post. It is crazy how, being a mom, your identity becomes a little lost! But in the same sense, I guess it becomes found too. Kate is... funny, happy, naturally pretty, kind, smart (very smart), humble, unique, easy to talk to, good listener, and a great Mom and friend, etc. etc. etc. I'm glad i know you more than only Noah and Jakes Momma!
Hey what about us folks who know you as Sister Pieper as well as Kate? I love your thoughts. It truly is an adventure being a mom.
Kate! I'm glad you're refinding yourself. It must feel really good to look back and gather all the parts of yourself...Daughter, Sister, Friend, Missionary, Wife, Mom...and then reflect about how it makes you who you are as a whole person.
I'm so glad to know you! Thanks for being you!!
I'm excited to one day be able to see YOU! Sure I'm excited to see your kids too, but more excited to see YOU! Maybe someday, huh? :/
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