a little sleep essay (written under sleep deprivation)

You know that feeling you have if you are an insomniac or a mother of a newborn? Even though you are exhausted, you dread nighttime. Something about being awake in the middle of the night not by choice is just so sad. I remember being a little girl and crying at night, not because I was scared of monsters or anything like that, but because I couldn't fall asleep and there was something terrifying to me about not getting a good nights' sleep. (Yes, I was a bit of an up-tight, worried little child.) Lately I have had many opportunities to relive that part of my childhood. Sometime during the last couple of months, my sweet little Jacob baby has turned into a sleep-hater...which has serious implications for my own sleep issues. He's not a newborn, but he's definitely more opposed to night sleep than any newborn I have had in my home. At first I blamed it on teething, then I blamed it on being sick, then on learning to roll over, and now on learning to crawl. You'd think I'd run out of things to blame it on. But don't worry, I can always start to blame myself, and the lack of sleep-training I've passed on to the little guy. Will I ever resort to letting him cry-it-out? Will I ever implement some other strategy of sleep-training of which doctors and "sleep experts" and people who want to exploit poor sleepless mothers write lengthy chaptered book expositions? Will these sleepless nights be a passing stage? Will I ever get a good night's sleep?
I don't know. But the good news is that there are always cupcakes. And those cupcakes go on sale for 1$ after 7:00. So you know where I'll be tonight. And I'm not talking about sleep.

Big Noah is 2

The last week of October was one big crazy party. We celebrated Noah's birthday all week long, with lots of cake. In art group we had monster cupcakes and made paper monsters. Then on his ball cupcakes, at Noah's request.

On Halloween, we had a little Halloween party with a big green many-eyed monster.

He got a lot of practice blowing out candles. The first time he stood in front of burning candles on a birthday cake, I said: "Blow them out!" and he blew with his nose. (because most of the blowing he does is into a kleenex!)
That should explain his nasal-y expression in this picture.

Noah loved all the festivities. He can now sing Happy Birthday, the whole song, all by himself. And when I tell him stories before bedtime, Noah always asks me to include birthday cake, presents, or the birthday song. And during story time, when he requests a "knock at the door", he specifies that the visitors are either Kurt and Papa or Yars, Choo-Choo and Kenton. (who were a big part of his real life birthday celebrations.) But even with all this birthday talk, I don't know if he knows his real age. When we ask him how old he is, most often, he says: "Five." Sometimes it is one or three, and occasionally two. However old he is, he is growing up so fast. His vocabulary is growing too, and can be pretty funny.

• When he carries something heavy, he says all manly: "I'm STRONG!" When something is out of his reach or too high for him, he grunts, stretches for it, gives up, and concludes: "it too reach!!"


• Sometimes when Jake cries, Noah commands: "Jakey, be happy!!" When Noah cries, I ask: "Noah, why are you crying?" He loves to answer: "cuz." and sometimes he adds pathetically: "cuz...I SAD."


• He doesn't give me much opportunity to sit around during the day. Yesterday I was typing something while he watched Sesame Street, and he kept repeating: "GET UP!" I tuned him out for a minute, until I gave him my attention and asked "What?" He said: "Get up...and DANCE!" He also has started demanding this: "Mommy, Exercise!"


• When he wants to play hide and seek, he says: "Mommy find you?" (He hasn't fully grasped the proper usage of me's and you's.) Then he commands: "mommy's turn!" and he goes through the routine of looking in places he knows I am certainly not: "mommy in drawer? No. Mommy in box? No. Mommy under pillow? No." Then I pretend to sneeze and he says with great surprise, especially considering we do the same thing every time we play: "Oh! [some]Body sneezed!!" and finds me in the place he knew I was hiding all along (usually under the table).


• He also loves to do puzzles. He has a 25 piece puzzle, which he does at least 3 times a day. It is adorable to watch him talk to himself while he puts it together. While he holds up each piece, he says: "Where this goes? I know! Goes right here!"
  
• And the sweetest thing he has ever said (on his own, out of the blue): "Jesus love Noah."

The boys in costume

We are planning on an after-Halloween photo shoot, because this tiny cellphone picture is the only one of them together! I was too busy hosting a party (we celebrated Noah's birthday on Halloween) to be playing photographer, so this is the best we got. You can't get the full effect of the costumes unless the boys are together. In case you couldn't tell, Noah is a racehorse and, as Noah said all week long, "Jakey be a jockey." (a little throw back to my Kentucky roots). The boys had a decent time, despite the fact that Noah didn't like wearing the horse head

and kept trying to ride on Jake. Now that would have been a good picture!